Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

How Would You Like Your Ionophore?

Greetings to you all.

So, as of right now, I'm in Ontario where it is quite sunny and where the animals frolic free. I saw a squirrel and a bunny on my way to work this morning. Just prime.

And as for work, it's turning out to be pretty stellar. The first week and a bit I expect to be so-so, just because it's training, which consists of reading and more reading. But after that I have the privilege of taking on a project. Dr. Berkelaar will be overseeing it, but I believe for the most part, it's my "chunk" that I get to contribute to the research. Pretty fantastic. Over the next couple of months I will be trying to make thallium and cadmium ion selective electrodes using such chemicals as N,N,N',N'-tetradodecyl-3, 6-dioxaoctanedithioamide. You might be rolling your eyes, but I got pretty excited about that. So, after a few hours of delicious reading and some taping popsicle sticks for identification reasons, I sit here talking about my first day. Oh, and I get my own work area...so cool.

It was an uneventful flight over and the 40 year old man who was sitting next to me needed to have a lesson on how to sit still for more than 5 seconds. But still, seeing Ree at the airport made me forget about the flight. Penguins.

As a side note, The Postal Service song "Brand New Colony" was performed live by Ben Gibbsies on one of his solo tours. Great song, it's just fantastic.

Not sure what else is left to write, I suppose I'll keep an animal count for you tomorrow.

Peace y'all.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Glory Land Fading

So, is The Stinky "O" not that stinky? It's been so fast out here in BC, but really, the whole time, it seems like I'm just waiting to get back to Ontario. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about that. It's like I'm falling for BC's much less attractive sister because she has a good personality, although BC has the looks and the brain. Doesn't make much sense. But alas, I have three more days in the Glory Land until I start looking at microscopes and using analytical methods to detect trace metals in the roots of wheat.

So, just so I don't get "no" disrespect, don't make fun of me because I signed up for Facebook. Just to set the record straight, my friend signed me up and somehow got all my contact information and password correct. I had no part it in. 'Nuff said.

Keep Nate Dawg in your prayers these next couple of weeks as he's with AIA in Nicaragua. He flies out today. Crazy stuff.

I have about a half day left at work until I'm done, and it's bitter sweet. I enjoy working here, but I'm moving on. Bitter sweet.

So to tag off, here's a picture of my dead dog. He had skin problems and his nose was often infected. He sneezed when he was happy to see us, and during the infected times, blood would spray out. Once he sneezed blood onto Josh Ng's pants. Crazy dog.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Etiquette Of Pick-Up...Y'all

So it seems that no matter where you are, if there is pick-up basketball to be had, there are some that come that take it way to seriously. I'm going to first lay out what pick-up basketball is:

1) A good way of physical activity to stay in shape.
2) A social outing in where you may learn skills in teamwork and co-operation.
3) A setting in where you may come at any skill level to have a good time.

Pick-up basketball is not:

1) A place for you to dominate and show everyone your mad skillz.
2) A place where you can expect everyone to be at the same level of skill or intensity.
3) A place where you can be a jerk.

I was going to do this post months ago and after a nice session of pick-up on Monday night, I thought it would be proper to inform the public on how you can have fun at pick-up.

First off, people are there to have fun, not to watch you take three pointers all night because you had the ball and you thought the shot was open. People come not just to run up and down the court, but rather, to touch the ball once in a while and to make a play. It seems that players with former hoop dreams are often there to prove themselves, while players that have fulfilled their dreams in basketball (I once played with a current Division 1 player in the states) tend to take a secondary role, often passing the ball right away. My philosophy is to be like Steve Nash: a nice mixture of passing and scoring. Don't always look to score, don't always look to pass, enjoy yourself in all aspects of the game.

Second thing to note is fouls. In pick-up if you foul someone, the ball goes back to the top. This can be overly abused to the extent of frustration of the players. It all depends how you play, but sometimes the defence calls the foul, and sometimes the offence. My philosophy if the offence calls it is to only call the foul if it hinders your ability to put the ball in the next, not your lack of ability to make a play under pressure. Pick-up is usually sloppy ball, and there's going to be contact, but if you go to the hoop weak and someone bumps your arm and thus you miss a lay-up, then don't call the foul, toughen up. If you're on defence, move your feet, don't reach or swat, try not to foul. Also, offensive fouls shouldn't be called in pick-up. This past Monday there was a guy who took the ball and tried to score every time he touched it...not much of a team player. So what I did is I got in the way and took a charge to piss him off (mostly because I called it) and proceeded to move the other way. This should not be done, but it sure felt sweet. Use wisdom when trying to get under the hardcore people's skin.

So to finish this off, you know you're too intense in pick-up when:

1) You know how many shots, points, rebounds and assists you've had for the past 5 games.
2) You loose sleep over that one lay-up you missed which could have given you a triple double.
3) You yell out loud when you miss a 3 pointer because you're angry with yourself that you missed it.

Etc.

Monday, May 07, 2007

The Mushrooms of Zangamarsh

Big things are happening people, and larger plans to harbour these plans are in the making. If you wish to make donations to these plans, please email me your credit card number. Thank you.

Despite the fact that I got a new hair cut and look better than Brad Pitt before he dated Jennifer Aniston, I feel I havn't let my new appearance increase my ego. Ha.

Again, working at the garden center has renewed and enforced my love for biology. In my "Survey of the Plant Kingdom" with Mrs. Chiang this past semester we studied a number of different plants. Whenever I come across a certain plant that we've studied at the greenhouse, I get quite excited, and I often cause people to stare at me in odd ways. I use to think it was because I looked homeless, but I still have had a few looks post-hair cut. The two plants that I've seen thus far are Marchantia and Seliginella. Very exciting. Unfortunately our store hasn't grown or orded in the mystical and medicinal mushrooms of Zangamarsh yet, but I'm sure when we get them in I'll get a few looks again.

I suppose I havn't done a recap of the Canucks since their loss. A summary: Luongo's a stud, 'nuff said. The Cup is in reach next year fo' sho'.

Highlights of this past week has been flying disk with Dan, hottub with Mark, killing elite giants with Brian, and most of all talking with Rebecca joy.

There are things I miss as well. I miss everything and everyone at Redeemer. I miss my Bitch'n playlist and Counting Crows. I miss being able to go to the gym and picking up a ball for shooting purposes. But alas, BC, if personified, would be described like Luongo. That is to say, BC is a stud. And, although it might be blasphemy to BC folk, there are other nice places in the world too, even if it is Ontario.

Peacing it out freestyln'.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

For Ryan

Due to the fact that Ryan has access to the internet once a week and the weekend is fast approaching, I thought I'd sneak a blog in to sustain his curious ways.

After a week (almost) of work I've realized how wonderful it is to be out of school and to not have to worry about assignments, labs or being attacked by the soup server. But alas, the school community is missed, so don't feel neglected or rejected, but possibly infected. Where I work is beautiful as the halls of my workplace are lined with blooming flowers and sweet scents. Just yesterday I helped an elderly woman pick out a hanging basket for her lawn bowling club. You can only do that in the garden industry people, and possibly the lawn bowling industry as well.

The Canucks are studs, so they'll pull it off. 'Nuff said.

The weather here has been decent and right now it is sunny and blue. Quite nice. Tell me if this next sentance works...I've been thinking about it:

"You are our "R" Hero," in where the "R" stands for radical. I think it has a ring to it.

Stewie P Styles takes off today and I won't see him till Christmas. I met his girlfriend and she makes a mean cake. The secret is to put holes in the cake with a toothpick and then drizzle caramel over it. I'm sure chocolate pudding would work as well.

Babies.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Retrimentalism of Isomatrictical Eppigymes

Here we go, one more time, every body's feeling fine, here we go now (here here here we go! N'Sync has got the flow!).

I caught spring. Initially I though I would loose the season completely due to BC's early blooming and Stinky O's late blooming, but alas, it is spring here. Glory. I think the air just smells nicer.

Go Jeffry C-dub, you brabarian you. 'Nuff said.

I'm starting to read this book about a terrible school bus accident that kills about 20 kids in a small community. The start of the book describes the kids personalities, but more importantly, describes the parents as well and their relationships. So far, a lot of the community seems to be complacent. It makes me feel very yucky. Let me explain.

I have this life right now. I'm quite enjoying it and even though it has its bumps and potholes along the way, it's still very much worth living. Given the amount of people that are alive today, they also feel that is the truth. However, I would not love life if I became utterly disgusted by it. A bit of a redundant thought, I know, but work with me on this one. I don't want to be the guy with no ambitions, dreams and hopes come 20 years. I don't want to get into a routine that I follow in a mindless matter until Christmas and whenever I choose to take my two weeks vacation. I want to be on the move, always exploring, and never settling for sitting on a couch watching T.V. before I dread another day of work after my 6 or so hours of restless sleep. In summary, I don't want my life to suck. The people in this book have sucky lives (or so it seems thus far) and so help me, if my lives dives down into a rut like the described above, then hit me in the groin with a sledgehammer and send me on a plane somewhere. Just some thoughts.

Morgren. Last summer I blogged a total of 5 times from May-September... let's not let that happen again, shall we?

Saturday, April 21, 2007

For Bron

A little something to commemorate more than a year since Joel Bron has last blogged. At least it was a good one though, eh guys?

"A year has passed and now we stand on the brink of returning to a world where we are surrounded by the paradox of everything, and yet nothing being the same. In one month we will reluctantly give our hugs and, fighting the tears, say goodbye to people who were once just names on a sheet of paper to return to people that we hugged and fought tears to say goodbye to before we ever left. We will leave our best friends to return to our best friends. We will go back to the places we came from and go back to the same things we did last summer and every summer before that. We will come into town on that same familiar road, and even though it has been months, it will seem like only yesterday. As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass through you as you reflect on the way your life has changed and the person you have become. You suddenly realize that the things that were most important to you a year ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest now, no one at home will completely understand. The memories and the stories from school won't mean anything to anyone at home and yet you resent them for that, that they can't share that happiness with you.Who will you call first? What will you do your first weekend home with your friends? How long before you actually start missing people barging in without calling or knocking? Who will get pizza at three in the morning with you now? How long until you adjust to sleeping alone in a room again? Then you start to realize how much things have changed, and you realize the hardest part of university is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave behind.In the matter of one day's travelling time, we will leave our world of living next door to our friends, walking across campus to eat, instant messenger, 8:00am classes, and the perpetual procrastination to a world that will seem foreign to us despite the fact that we lived in it for eighteen years. But it is different now. We now know the meaning of true friendship. We know who we have kept in touch with over the past year and who we hold dearest in our hearts. We've left our high school world to deal with the real world. We've had our hearts broken, we've fallen in love, we've helped our friends overcome depression, stress and death, and we've stayed up all night on the phone just to talk to a friend in need. There have been times when we've felt so helpless being hours away from home when we know our families needed us, and there are times we know we have made a difference. One month from now we will leave. One month from now we take down our pictures, and pack up our clothes. No more going next door to do nothing for hours on end. We will leave our friends whose random email and phone calls will bring us to laughter and tears this summer. We will take our memories and dreams and put them away for now, saving them for our return to this world. One month from now we will arrive. We will unpack our bags and have dinner with our families. We will drive over to our best friend's house and do nothing for hours on end. We will return to the same friends whose random emails and phone calls have brought us to laughter and tears over the year. We will unpack old dreams and memories that have been put away for the past year. In one month we will dig deep inside to find the strength and conviction to adjust to change and still keep each other close. And somehow, in some way, we will find our place between these two completely different worlds. Are you ready?"

Monday, April 16, 2007

Silicon Carbide Rods Always Emit in the Infra Red

Welcome.

Canucks: Almost lost hope and thought the series was lost after a lackluster two periods in game two. However, I underestimated my boys, and now we're up 2-1. Judging by this series thus far, I think it is safe to conclude that the Canucks only need to play decent for 20% of the game for them to have a chance to win it. When I say "Canucks", I mean, of course, all forwards and defencemen, not Luongo. Luongo is what makes us only have to play for 20% of the time. What a treat that 6 million brought us. I have also updated that I wouldn't mind "Hansen" on a jersey if I get one. Stellar.

It's exam time and I have my studying schedule down to the hour. There's no messing around here folks, even if it means missing a Ben Folds concert to study on a Monday night. Wow, that's such a lame choice. It's been hard to get motivated, but alas, I am well on my way to being finished semester two and conclude my second year at Redeemer. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a Harry Potter novel because my years, like Harry's at Hogwarts, seem to go so quick. Great connection, I know.

Again, in reflection of the year I see God's faithfulness. I was never hungry, hospitalized, lonely or homeless. I've been surrounded by friends, given the opportunity to have an education and have a brother downtown as family so I don't get too homesick. God's also given me His word, at times which I embrace or ignore, unfortunately. And, to throw in something relevant to James, God also gave me science, and silicon carbide rods.

That's all for now, more studying to be done.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Brian Wilson

I love it when you forget about things that you once enjoyed. They might be rather small or large things, but once in a while, after an extended period of time separated from this thing, you encounter it again. A rush of old memories collides with the gremlins in your kidneys and you get a tingling feeling. I just had that with the BNL song "Brian Wilson" while listening too my iPod. This song brings me back to doing newspapers as a young high school chap after school on Wednesdays. It was on a marvelous CD in which I had made. This CD was the best of Crash Test Dummies and BNL and it might still be one of my favorite "mixes." Sweet glory.

Yeah, Game 2 was lacking in intensity, and every time Sopel touched the puck I yelled at the TV for him to get rid of it, but I'm still in good spirits. Despite his dirty dirty hair, I have no idea why we picked up that guy again. Game 3 will be ours; we're gold on the road. One thing that's a highlight is that Naslund is playing the best I've seen of him all season. He's hitting guys, doing spinnoramas and finally shooting the puck with confidence. He'll be our hero, with, of course, T. Lid. Timot and I were discussing what name we would get on our jersey if we were ever to purchase one. I think I would get a Linden (who wouldn't?) or a Cooke jersey. I still remember when Neil busted out his hockey helmet and ran hipchekcing people into the lockers while yelling "Matt Cooke!" in high school. Man, I love the playoffs.

Due to the fact that I just handed it my last three assignments, all I have to worry about now is 5 tests. Some people hate exam time, but I love it. There's no labs, no 8 AM classes, no assignments, just whole days given to you in which you can study at your leisure. It's glory, pure glory.

This past Friday I was given the opportunity to judge at a elementary school science fair for grade 7 and 8 kids. I hated being called a kid when I was in grade 7, but that's what they are. Science is the future people. Science rules.

Flying home on the 27th, looking forward to the Gloryland.

Peace.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Loooooooouuuuu

72 saves. 72. Incredible. This series is going to be scary. I'm just thankful all the games are on CBC. As much as I like the streamed radio of Shorty describing the action, seeing it is much better. As a side note, a fair amount of Canuck fans came to the Rec Center to watch the game last night. I think about 12. Two of them were 40+ year old men. Not too sure where they came from, but they were into it. Go 'Nucks.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Too Long

"Look at that cosine graph, I learned about it in Grade 12 Math. I've had a couple of kids since then, I named my smallest child Gwen."
- Nickleback's original first line for "Photograph"

There was a streak a month ago that one could detect my existence purely by monitoring the interweb site that I maintain. If one was to come to a conclusion about the status of my being based on recent interweb activity, the thought would be grim.

Hello.

The past two weeks have been going, but whether or not they have been going good or bad is another question. I believe I'll keep it as just "going" for the time being, because it's been a blur of unimportant events mixed by a metaphorical beater of assignments, then scraped out by the metaphorical spatula of due dates into a Christmas tree shaped pan. We use to have a Christmas tree mold used for jello when I was a child. I loved that thing, maybe more than the sweet gelatin that inhibited it. I was sick for the past two weeks, which probably made everything a bit hazy as well. I'm feeling better now, so I guess that's a plus.

This past Easter weekend was spent at Ryan's place. It was relaxing and fantastic. Pretty much what I needed, so that's good.

Lots of thoughts going around, especially some things that were briefly talked about with the guys over the weekend. We touched on things like worship, the Holy Spirit, infant baptism, terrible Nickleback songs, TMNT, Moulin Rouge soundtracks and hockey. Very interesting thoughts going on there.

Right now I feel like writing some of my thoughts, but I feel that I'm mentally unable to at the moment. It's frustrating. It's like a neural lethargy that spreads from my brain to my fingers, unable to write about what I really want to. Unfortunately my eyes still work, so the frustration of reading what I've written makes me want to hit a golf ball through a window. Scratch that, I want to throw a pie at someone who's really stuck-up and proper and then proceed to do a dance that will frustrate them because the fact that I am silly makes them angry. Yeah, the second option is far superior.

I'm going to end it here: dust is just old skin that hangs on everything you own. Oh, snap.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Morgren

I have a sore throat, but do not be concerned. I am alive and well.

That is all.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Chordle

Greetings.

I am well mentally, although physically I feel a bit off. I suppose the grogginess started sometime on Friday night, and since then it has not escalated, but instead persisted. Kind of dumb. I've had a headache since Saturday. That, my friends, is lame.

Enough about my infirmaries, however. I'm going to think a bit about mental wellness.

University is the students and the professors responsibility. Let me explain.

Class. It is the professors job and obligation to teach in the most stimulating way that the content of the class allows. It is the students responsibility to go to class, not only because you are paying for your education, but also because you are at school primarily to learn. Failure to have an enjoyable class can be disrupted if the above two things are not in balance.

Bad Prof <---------------------------------------------> Good Prof

No Desire to Learn<---------------------------------------------> Desire to Learn

The way to determine if a student will skip class is by the "Magic Four's" theory. On a scale of 1-4, you grade how good your prof is, along with your desire to learn that subject. If the total of those two values hovers around a total of 4, then there is a good chance you're skipping that class fairly often. An easy solution to not skipping class is to take subjects that you're interested in. If your prof sucks, you're still most likely going to attend the class. It's a magical system, we know.
Now for a side note. Profs that can't teach their subject in an interesting and stimulating manner should rethink being a prof. Last year there was a geography prof that was so excited to teach geography, a boring topic (for me at least.) He still had good attendance, even though the subject he taught isn't as amazing as microbiology. He left, and let's just say that geography doesn't have as great attendance anymore.
Profs, be excited about what you teach, please.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Grogglemaster: The Defeat of John the Tryant

Hello.

Three things.

1) John Hodgman is the bomb. You might want to open this one in a new tab/window.

2) Robyn (also known as Robo, or possibly Rubu) posted some pictures of the banquet from last weekend. Due to the fact that I am rebelling against facebook, you can find pictures here.

3) For the first time in my life, there is a majority of my friends (from BC) that have girlfriends. This, is very interesting.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Babes in Lab Coats

Sparked by the question of Ryan and upheld by the approval of Dan Brouwer, I shall further expand on the topic of lab coats and those who wear them. As it is often seen past the 1980's, more and more women have started to apply themselves to the world of science. Just a joke, settle down. I know that there have been female scientists before that. Shoot. Carrying on.

These women, just like the men that wear them, require coats to protect themselves and their clothes from corrosion and possible mutations. But what happens, you may ask, if that special female science student, or as I call them, FSS, catches your eye and you are determined to win her over. Yes, it is true that the female gender can often increase their attractiveness by sporting a white coat mainly because it demands authority, and thus making the FSS a truly powerful being.

The following is a way to get the FSS's attention, impress her, and eventually wed her, or at least get her to go with you for a coffee or a movie. Firstly I would like to lead you on how to get the FSS's attention. Being that the FSS has an aura of intelligence around her, some English or Psychology majors might feel intimidated and not up to par. This is a fair feeling, but with some effort on your side, you can put up a temporary "smart shield" to fool her and to impress her. The concept of the shield is simple, however is not readily apparent. Let me explain.

Due to the fact that science students, especially the FSS's, deal with glassware a lot, some silicon ions from the glass have the tendency to wear off onto the students fingers. This silicon, if not washed off, can react with the lipids (essentially the oil) that your fingers extract. This silicon-lipid compound, often called a silipid, can affect the perception centers of the brain if ingested. To get the FSS to lick her fingers and ingest the silipid however will prove difficult if you do not have a MSS as a friend. Organize with the MSS to place honey on the test tubes that the FSS will be using. When the FSS asks the MSS what the sticky substance on the test tubes is, he will simply reply "honey, I eat it as a snack in the lab." She will then agree that honey is tasty and proceed to ingest the silipid. After this has been accomplished, the only thing left for you to do is to impress her by stating a random fact that has to do with science, such as "A good blood pressure is 120/80," or "the speed of light is fast than I can sprint." This puts up a barrier of intelligence around you, known as the "smart shield" (4583 armor, +50 intelligence, chance on hit to say something smart.) She will be so enthralled with these factoids, that she will then recognize you in the hallways from that point on. You have got her attention and impressed her, simply by spreading honey strategically on some test tubes.

Proceed by acquiring money and buying a ring. Then once the ring has been purchased, explain to the FSS what type of metal it is along with the purity of it and the metals molar mass. The final step is to place the ring on her finger, and thus making her your fiance.

Confronting the FSS is the hardest part because their aura of intelligence is intimidating. However, if you can get past the point of feeling inferior to a smarter person, then you will be in the clear with a happy future ahead of you, including a wife that looks fantastic in a lab coat.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Tigers or Panthers

I love wearing my lab coat. It's very white, it goes down to my knees and has the potential to prevent my clothes from getting stained a dark blue or a "it almost looks like I'm bleeding" red. There are, however, some things to take into consideration when wearing your lab coat. The first is that, as cool as you look and feel, people are intimidated by you if you are caught wearing your lab coat outside the science wing of the academic building. It's like seeing a panther loose in the zoo, except scientists use chemicals and bacteria to kill while panthers have large claws and teeth and are usually more stealthy than scientists. There is an exception in the person of Dr. Brouwer however; he is so stealthy and would probably be more lethal than a wild panther if he had the will to use his chemicals for evil instead of good. But, nay, Dr. Brouwer uses his chemicals in the most benevolent ways, including finding out ways to clean up that dirty ol' Hamilton harbour. Three stars Dr. B, three stars.

Anywho, back to the lab coats. Although many people find it intimidating when science students wear their lab coats outside of the lab, many science students feel embarrassed (even though deep down there is a pride) to wear their lab coats past the doors of the lab. To compensate this, science students often travel in groups when needing to go outside of the lab with their coats. This makes them feel less awkward, while still maintaining the pride of knowing that the people they walk by don't know how to properly inoculate a nutrient broth tube with bacteria. These groups can cause a dilemma for the walking path of a normal student however, because people already feel intimidated by one science student with a lab coat, let alone four or five. People thus avoid these students in a fashion similar to the following.


Meanwhile, if the students were avoiding the lab coats, there is a good chance that Dr. Brouwer would sneak up on the campus panther. Needless to say, if this were to happen, Dr. B would win with his chemicals, though the panther probably would put up a good fight.



Jorben.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Groben

So. Soooooooooooooooooo. A brief summary of this post may be "fowne-ed" at the end of this post.

Good things are on the move. Let me provide an illustration. Imagine watching a slug crawl along on the ground, and then, before your very eyes, it sprouts three legs, all decked out with new Reebok "air pump" kicks. Then watch this slug run away from you. The good things I was talking about in the first sentence are better than the slug just described.

If some of you remember, I was reported to have said that I did not get the lab job I had hoped on getting. The feeling that I had that day would have similar characteristics as something indescribable. Scratch that. That day sucked.

Events unfolded after that in which I would have the opportunity to talk to the Professor who was doing the research. I talked to him indeed, and low and behold, he offered me the job apart from the government grant. That day did not suck. Carrying on.

This made me happy and/or sad. Happy in that I got the job, but sad because plans I was making for the summer in BC again had to be reworked, including working with the "oh so pretty" flowers at West Coast Gardens. The mood was again, not the greatest.

I talked with the Professor about this and at the end of this conversation we had worked out a way so that I would spend a month working in BC with my mommy (hi mom!) and then proceed to do my nerdy research in the lab for the remaining three months. Happiness spread into my being like motile bacteria in an agar deep test tube.

Summary:
Didn't get job - mood was bad
Talked to prof, got job - mood was good
Wasn't sure about summer plans - mood was bad
Professor cleared up the worries of summer - mood was good.

Conclusion: (Click to enlarge)

Monday, March 05, 2007

Kee Kee

CHARLESTON - An unnamed biology professor from Jacksonville University was recently imprisoned and put on bail for $25, 000. He was reportedly redirecting funds from the laboratories to fund his own recreation, including a subscription to "Masters of Sudoku," a magazine that covers the strategies, best times and tournament results of the Sudoku Circuit in Japan. The professor allegedly cut funds from essential function of the lab, including lowering the temperature of the lobster tank by seven degrees in order "save energy". Upon review of the energy bills, the amount saved was equal to the subscription of the magazine. This alone was not the cause of his imprisonment however. A similar case of redirecting funds for recreational magazines took place two years ago at UCLA in the history department resulting in the accused (a masters student) to stop teaching introductory courses, along with having to wear a shirt every Friday which said "I am a stealer that also lies!" printed across the chest. The biology professor was instead accused of animal cruelty as one of the lobsters, also the universities swim team mascot, was found to have a change in behavior, causing him to become more sluggish. It was later discovered that the lobster’s lack of activity was mostly due to the fact that it had died. The death of the lobster sparked a demonstration by the swim team the following week in where they all dressed as giant Atlantic lobsters and sat in miniature turtle pools filled with ice cubes in front of the biology wing. One student was diagnosed with pneumonia the following day.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Highlights

Remembering is good. What better way to remember than to read ones diary or journal, or possibly past blogs. The following is the "best of" from the blogs of first semester of first year.



"The rain and Sean's condition made us turn back, probably the way an alligator on the green of a Florida golf course would make some senior golfers go to the next hole and take a bogey."

"This past week, I've felt a bit like a cosine graph. Not the type of cosine graph that you translate up so that it initially seems more impressive, but more like a reciprocated sine graph, translated three to the right, flipped on the x-axis and then left to hang on the "y" to dry."

10) Lists of ten. Mmmmm, metric.

"Mmmm. Oh Nora, why couldn't you have been Canadian, five years younger and lived in the lower mainland? I bet, with 10 to 1 odds that I would be dating her. Whatever the case, she is none of those, so I'll just have to listen to her music in the mean time."

Youge (adv, n) (yoo-je) ("je" as in french for "I")
1)To describe to someone of a habitual interaction with ones environment
a) Little or no change in ones daily routine
"In the past week, I have been up to the youge."
b) To be stuck in a rut that is comfortable
"Seth, I've been worried about how much you have been playing Zelda. It seems to have become the youge for you."

Sunday was good. Church was good, including Josh Ng's picture of pirates and a jester saying "poo."

"I got my hair cut. I went from a rugged stallion with long flowing hair and a vicious beard that could make a girl faint from the pure sight of it, to a clean cut stereotypical guy who is between the ages of 13-30 in North America."

"Finals are next week, and I didn't really realize it. They "snuck up" on me metaphorically, which is funny, because finals are just going to be pieces of paper with ink on them in the form of questions. How can inky paper sneak up on you. I doubt that paper or ink has any will to say to itself, "I shall sneak up on this student. Oh, sweet glory, I shall sneak up indeed!" That is why I put "snuck up" in quotations and mentioned it as a metaphor. Ink and paper... no will. Oddly enough, a physical will for a person is usually written on paper with ink describing who gets what, so maybe ink and paper is a will in itself. Thus we can conclude that although ink and paper have no mindful will themselves, they can be a will for someone else, or more likely, another piece of paper with ink on it. So, maybe the finals that snuck up on me are not going on their own will, but instead on the will of other pieces of paper, possibly receipts or newspaper articles."

"I've discovered the glorious "world" which I left for four months this Christmas while trying to get Brian nice gear for his character. Since those two weeks I've been playing far too much, and it's been positively glorious and fulfilling. Would this account for the total lack of contact that I've had with my fellow human beings in my social circles (possibly and octagon)? I would like to think not."