Squeeze

Alright, let’s say that you made a fantastic milkshake. Oh, and for the record, my milkshakes bring the boys to the yard; my milkshakes are better than yours. Ok then, we have this milkshake. It has a bit of yoghurt in it, some tasty vanilla ice-cream (Stew, which one is your favorite?) and some fantabular strawberries. You've just mixed all the ingredients in your blender/ magic bullet and you're just getting ready to enjoy the glorious concoction you just made. So then you walk from the kitchen to the place where you hope to enjoy the milkshake and let’s say you trip. Anything can trip you, so I'm going to say there was a miniature Asian elephant in the living room that I tripped over. It doesn't really matter how you trip. The important and scary thing is that you spilt your milkshake, you big silly! Florple! But don't worry; you have an absorbent tea-towel that isn't two weeks used and soiled by continuous dryings from wet dishes. It's clean, so you let the tea-towel soak up the goodness. And then you squeeze every last drop of that creamy drink into your mouth until you find yourself wringing the tea-towel to the extent of damaging it, if that is even possible of course.

Explanation #1: Milkshakes are the good things in life. Sometimes they get away from you. You can get them back, and make sure you get as much back as you can.
Explanation #2: My milkshakes bring the boys to the yard.
Explanation #3: Miniature elephants are smaller than normal elephants and thus are hard to detect if they're sleeping on your living room floor. Step carefully.
Explanation #4: Soiled tea-towels are not ideal for absorbing tasty drinks which you plan to drink later.
Explanation #5: No poofters
Explanation #6: Stewart likes things that taste of vanilla and Ryan puts raw eggs in his milkshakes.

Someone asked me in the summer what I was going to be doing on January 30th. Being that he was a stranger, I smiled awkwardly and nodded to make him think I thought he said something different. I heard him people, don't worry, I'm just a jerk that way. But, now to answer his question, I was going to be purchasing (with the help of my friend Timot) the new Norah Jones CD. People, it is Norah, and it is fantastic. That is all.

For a greater explanation of the occurrences of this weekend, which involved about 5 or 6 hours of pond hockey, please refer to said Timot's blog. There are pics there, and soon I will upload a video of me trying to stop while going far to fast. Quite humorous.

Peaceables.

Techmology

So, techmology: Is it good, or is it whack?

I might just go on a rant here. Oh, and as a side note, 'rant' is kind of a weird word.

One of my largest pet peeves is when people try to use technology in a public setting when they quite obviously don't know how to use technology. This can branch out to quite a few groups, but the one particular group I will touch on today is Professors.

I started to write something very demoralizing to the profs, so I deleted it and I'll touch on some points that bug me.
1) To go back a slide on PowerPoint, press the <- button instead of right clicking, trying to find the previous slide button and accidentally pressing the forward slide button. One very quick '<-' can solve this. Thank you.
2) The projector does not need to be turned off and on every 10 minutes when you want to use the board. This will wear out the bulb. There's a handy dandy 'blackout button' on your projector remote that will enable you to quickly and easily work on the board.
3) 9 times out of 10 it's not the computers fault, but rather the users fault. For instance, the speakers might not work (even though the light may be on) because you have the sound muted on your computer. Troubleshooting people, troubleshooting.

I strongly believe that anyone who might use technology in their job should take a week long course to learn how to properly use a computer and all the fancy dancey benefits that go along with it. It will save them the embarrassment of students laughing at them as well and them being embarrassed.

Just a little bit of a vent. General navigation on common computer programs can go a long way especially if you use computer at your job.

One Hour Photofinishing

I can't stand when people talk about their own blogs. Ha, get it? Brilliant.

I'm always cautious when I try to post something serious, mostly because a few things happen to me. First, a small part of me is like, "Nobody wants to hear your thoughts." Now, having the large and polished ego that I do, I push this thought out of my head very quickly because I'm positive that pretty much everybody wants to hear what I have to say. I mean, why wouldn't you? I'm brilliant. I reference this fact to the first line of this blog. Secondly, part of me feels like I'm trying to be far more intellectual than I really am, almost like I'm an expert at raiding Naxx when I've really only seen Patchwerk. I go on one thought and almost exhaust it to the extent that it's like saying "umbrella" a thousand times - it just looses its meaning. And thirdly, I find that when I re-read my blogs (again, this is an action merely to feed the ego and realize how brilliant past posts have been. again, look at the first line of the blog) I far more enjoy the 'not-so-serious' ones that reflect upon the lighter side of life than the verbal diarrhea posts that try to make me sound smart.

So, to conclude, some cheeses are made by boiling milk at approximately 190 degrees Fahrenheit and then cooling and salting the curds.

Cheese!

The New Education

There are a few things in life that just make it more enjoyable. One of those things for me is my "Bitch'n Playlist" that I have in iTunes. Truly fantastic.

We had an ice storm on Sunday night which cancelled classes on Monday. Everything looks nice in ice.

I enjoy learning about History, and it appears that my History prof teaches Greek philosophy better than my Philosophy prof did last year. Maybe not, but I still enjoy it.

It's been snowing a bit here. It covers the ice, which makes things pretty. Pretty things are good.

Don't eat Splenda. It’s chlorinated glucose molecules. Chemicals people, chemicals.

Choose Your Own Adventure

Blorg. Flarg florple marken treble. Grapes.

There was this item in my fridge that was tucked away nicely on the bottom shelf. The tupperware container was very pretty; a nice blue body that hadn’t seen much wear and would most likely hold up very well in a microwave. This blue container was remotely transparent so that one could just make out what's on the inside, like a shadow on the wall. Its smells were mysterious, as were its texture and taste. Only the one who put it there knows what was inside, unless the food, cosmetic or mystical creature inside knew of its own existence. But to everyone who looked into the fridge, the containers contents remain unknown. Upon seeing this container, I was, at first, unimpressed. My mind was on the milk I needed for my cereal. However, upon another visit, the container caught my attention and sparked a curiosity. I found myself, from time to time, being completely obsessed with the container while the fridge door was closed, but as soon as I saw it again, it disinterested me. On and off this curiosity flamed and withered until finally, with caution place firmly in my back pocket, I went and examined the contents of the tupperware. With hands shaking, I reached in for the container, pausing only for a second before grasping it with my fingers. At first touch it felt as if the blue plastic would engulf me, covering me with its cool disposition. But alas! It was only the crisp air of the fridge that brought about this defiant tingling. I pulled it out, and as I did I quickly shut the fridge door, leaving no escape for the contents to leap out and hide back in the cold darkness. I wish the story could end in a way which would quench the thirst of your curiosity, but I cannot logically recall what happened the moment my thumb cracked the firm lid off to reveal what was inside.

Three hours later I awoke, sprawled out on the kitchen floor, numb to all feeling. Upon opening my eyes I saw a slick trail of what seemed to be green-brown gravy leaving the kitchen. I followed the trail with my eyes, astonished as to what I would have witnessed. Before me, not ten feet away, the trail ended. And then, with my eyes, I understood it all...

Finish the story yourself, I think there's no limit for text in the comments. Try to make it less than a page.

Defining the Ultimate

If words were like people and if they were forced to do high-jump for their Grade 8 Christian school track meet, I'm positive that "Sporadic" would dominate and win it all.

Whilst I sit here eating my oma's cookies, I am forced, nay, persuaded to think about some of my favorite things. It seems like I do one of these every six months, so for the sake of habitual activities, I'm going to give 'er skiddo.

1) Hiding under blankets - I'm not sure why this has clung to me so fast and strong, but I just love getting all giddy while I pull my cotton shield (+32 Stamina, 3258 armor)over my head and laugh about words like "turtle" or "umbrella".
2) As mentioned above, my oma's cookies - it's not so much that I'm a such a cookie lover, but rather the taste of homemade chocolate chippers from someone that loves you adds that extra 'umph' to the eating. These cookies are bloody expensive because their sentimental value is through the roof.
3) Editing video - shoot man, whenever I do this activity it's like someone takes a spiked paddle and smacks the creative pixies residing in my duodenum to release dopamine. That is to say, I feel good when I edit. It's weird how I can watch the same edited video over and over again without getting sick of it. Bizarre.
4) Forts - D37 made a fort out of their mattresses and blankets. Did you hear that mom? They're allowed to build a fort. I remember that back when I was a wee creative child, all I wanted to do was build a crappy two foot high fort out of our six earth coloured cushions we had in our living room. Unfortunately most of the time when I built this fort my mother asked me to tear it down. No hard feelings though, I suppose.
5) Norah - Norah Norah Norah Norah Norah. Oh, sweet glory, Norah.
6) Jazz Piano - Yarr, this might somewhat be connected to the above, but I'm just a big fan of soft background jazz filling the air while heartfelt conversation is had or when I crit an elite for over 1500. It's just magical. Stewart mentioned that whenever he sees me play basketball I'm smiling, and I'm sure that it's the same when I listen to jazz.
7) World of Warcraft - Oh the expansion, how you elude me.

So yeah, there you have it for another quarter. For the record, I ate about a dozen cookies during this writing session. So chocolaty.

Ashkandhi, Sword of the Brotherhood

Please notice these three things:
1) Adam's lame elbow to Neil's head and how it seemingly knocks him unconscious or kills him.
2) The expressions on John's face after Adam gives him a 'kick' which most likely tickled John rather than hurt him.
3) Dan's killer smile when the cigarette is taken from him.

Rollercoaster of Love

It’s very late, and I can’t sleep yet again. I hope this trend ends fairly soon. This post is merely to pass time until I feel tired. It is quite lengthy, so I guess I didn’t tire easily.

A wise man once said that wise men quote wise men.

We all know that the word love is cheapened in today’s world. So often we hear the verb and quite often it is used out of context, and quite often 'like' would gladly come off the vocabulary bench and hop onto the court so that it could use its skills. It's kind of like Roberto Luongo. If you over use him, he's going to disappoint you, but you have to realize it's not his fault. Maybe sometimes he's being played when he could take a seat on the pine and rest up. Actually, scratch that. We need Luongo in every night, but you get the point.

I would like to think that most of us know that our word 'love' comes from some sort of Greek background, but more importantly I would like to think that most of us know that there is more than one word for 'love' in Greek. If you didn't know that, well, sorry for the spoiler.

Back to the thought of a rollercoaster and its connection with love. We see the peaks and valleys of a rollercoaster, and hey, why don't we connect that with the highs and lows that we experience in our lives. As a side note, I have yet to meet one person who has not had a low or a high. At some point everybody gets sick, depressed, let down, disappointed, or exhausted. As well, everybody has experienced the highs, the joy of a beautiful day with Sunday morning pancakes, the satisfying completion of a job well done, or the realization or understanding that there are people out there that love (not like) you and love to be around you. We all experience these things because we are human beings with physical bodies tainted by sin that get beaten and bruised as well as fed and pampered. Highs and lows people, highs and lows.

When we think of the rollercoaster, we can dissect a few things that it has. It has tracks, wheels attached to the cars, and that handy dandy guardrail that doesn't let you go off flying to an exhilarating yet painful death. Why don't we call the cars our bodies, and the passenger our soul and spirit. If you don't believe in the soul and spirit, well, why don't you try and imagine if you will for a second. Let's call the track our life. Yarr, that's right, our life. So, we have our bodies that go along this track that we call life (shoot, I feel a corny country song coming on here) and this life takes us up as well as down, as is natural. Of course, every rollercoaster is different. Some of us may experience higher highs and lower lows, but just as the mysterious sine curve has ups and downs, so is our life. Naturally, the car travels on the track, and let’s say if it goes off the track, you're probably going to die. Makes sense. Likewise, if our passengers, soul and spirit, get out of the car the car has lost its purpose and one could argue that without passengers, the car is pointless. Now if the track was completely flat, there would be no fear of the passengers falling out, but we all know that rollercoasters are not so. So what keeps us in the car? Well, that handy dandy guard bar of course. Now, let us call this guard bar love. And, as you might have guessed, this love is not the love that can be substituted for like, such as in the phrase, "I really love those three-bean burritos." This is the love that is experienced through soul and spirit, that is to say, the passengers. So we have this love that the passengers can grasp on to if need be, or let go of and distance ourselves from by scurrying their bottoms to the back of their seats. Quite often we don't see this love when we're going up, that is to say, experiencing a high. However, on the downward curve descending to the valley, it's that bar that keeps you there. Some may choose to not grab onto the bar, but their legs can't squeeze out of its grip when their bottoms are off their seat. It needs to be there though. Without it, there wouldn't be very many people on the roller coaster.

Ryan seems to think I have insomnia. It's either that or the worst jet lag I've ever experienced. I have a class in four hours and yet I still can't sleep.

Farquad.